Washington governor can change her lucky underwear at long last

After two weeks of trial, a state court judge has ruled that Washington's governor of five months will keep her 129-vote victory, despite irregularities in last fall's voting and vote-counting.

"For the love of god, people, just get on with your lives," Chelan County Superior Court Judge John Bridges did not say (but he did think it pretty loudly). "There were 2.6 million votes cast, and pretty much half of the state hates each of you.

"We all have better things to do with our time than argue about who captured more of the 'illegal felon' demographic. Case dismissed."