The Burning Nipple Question

Shortly after we brought the Franchise home from the hospital four months ago, the A-Train volunteered to feed him. His mother declined.

"I can do it," he insisted. "See, I have nipples." He pulled up his shirt to show us.

I spoke up. "Yes, but those are as useless as--"

"They don't work," his mom interrupted.

Now, a doctor has written a book that explains, among other things, why we have nipples at all:

And why do men have nipples?

"While only females have mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo, the authors explain. The embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in.

"Men, however, have already developed nipples."

In my opinion, this also explains why we can discern about eight colors, rather than the 8,000 that my beloved spouse must consider before painting a room.