My outsourced life

I just finished reading an article published in the September issue of Esquire that made me laugh aloud. I do not usually read Esquire, although perhaps folks in my line of work should--for the name, if nothing else. But this one was worthwhile.

The writer was A.J. Jacobs, whom I recognize as the guy who appeared on NPR's Weekend Edition periodically to describe his progress in reading the encyclopedia. The article began as he was pondering the outsourcing trend. It occurred to him that he might spend a month outsourcing the "low-end" life tasks that he disliked. Researching stories ... calling his parents ... apologizing to his wife--all assignments that he issued to his personal assistants in India.

As the month wore on, he found himself pushing the envelope, nudging ever closer to an assignment that would constitute an abuse of power.

"I've become addicted to outsourcing. I am desparate to delegate everything in my life but have to face the depressing reality that there are limits. I can't outsource those horrible 25-minute StairMaster sessions. I can't ousource [restroom duties]. I can't outsource sex with Julie. Not that I dislike it, but we're trying to have another kid, which means a whole bunch of sex, and enough is enough, you know? It gets tiring. I can't outsource watering the ficus."

The closest that he gets to abuse of power is having an assistant read to his son, live from India, over speakerphone--from the business section of the newspaper. But his son seemed to enjoy it, and the assistant was reading the newspaper anyway ... so, no harm, no foul.

Here is the link, but Esquire reserves all but a snippet for its subscribers, so you may not be able to read it. (I have hard copy.) Bummer for you. However, the article apparently has been optioned as a motion picture, so you may be able to see it on screen in 2007.

Thanks to my colleague David, who, despite graduating from a second-tier school in Kansas (K-State), apparently has an eye for quality writing.