Live public sex shows are protected expression

On the one hand, it's pretty cool to get racy in a legal-ish blog. On the other hand, I don't want to draw the attention of ne'er-do-well search engines. But I guess it cannot be avoided: the Oregon Supreme Court has ruled that live public sex shows are protected under the Oregon Constitution.

The case came after two officers paid to see a "one-girl" show, then returned for a "two-girl" show. (Case does not spell out all of the possible shows, but you cannot help but wonder.) The officers then arrested various folks involved with the establishment for: (1) having a live public sex show, (2) promoting prostitution, (3) compelling prostitution, and (4) using a child in a display of sexual conduct (because one of the girls was under 18).

The proprietors' defense to all was (to paraphrase): "Well, yeah, we did it, but it's free speech, man." (No word on whether the proprietors had access to a medical marijuana card, but feel free to imagine it to be so.)

The court held that in Oregon, live public sex shows are constitutionally protected, so you cannot outlaw them. On the other hand, making that other stuff illegal is just fine, so the proprietors' convictions for the other charges stand. Sentencing awaits.

Criminal law lesson for Delay

I do not play politics in my head with the glee of my esteemed elder brother. But something caught my ear on NPR yesterday.

A Texas prosecutor, Ronnie Earle, brought charges against Senator Tom Delay alleging criminal conspiracy to beat Democrats silly with piles of campaign funds. Or something to that effect. When the indictment came through, Delay issued a statement that ended:

"This indictment is nothing more than prosecutorial retribution by a partisan Democrat."

Weeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll, no. Not just that. An indictment comes after a grand jury hears enough to think that, if the accused mounts no defense, there is enough to find the guy guilty. And then the system insists that he get a lawyer to mount a defense, even if the accused cannot afford the lawyer.

Delay may be innocent as well as "not guilty," but he at least should acknowledge how the system works.

She feels fondly toward me

I occasionally use MSN Messenger, which means that I am subjected to the annoying popup for MSN Today. The really annoying part is that I get sucked into it occasionally.

Yesterday, there was an article (story? column? essay?) about "the two kinds of husbands." The premise is that women either marry James Dean (exciting guy who sets her underwear aflame) or Mr. Rogers (who carefully folds the underwear into origami).

Not being short on ego, I figured that I fit into the best of both categories (I can make her laugh while folding underwear). Because my wife does not read MSN Today, I told her about the article last night. I was halfway through my reasoning--explaining my qualities that tend toward Mr. Rogers--when she interrupted to agree.

"You are pretty consistent," she said. "But I love you anyway."

Smoldering from the backhanded compliment, I determined to prove that I was exciting. I whipped out my new cell phone and played the ring tone that will become my theme song (Espionage). I did not say it aloud, but I was thinking it pretty loud: How's that for exciting, wench?

She just shook her head and kissed me on the cheek. Maybe it is time to get some slippers.

Football season canceled for lack of interest

Calm down, folks. It was not canceled everywhere, just at my law school. And frankly, it seems to have freed up some mojo in the rest of the football universe:

1. My beloved Jayhawks remain undefeated, at 3-0.
2. My fantasy football team posted a thrilling victory over the weekend.
3. My NFL team of choice, the Kansas City Chiefs, clobbered the hated Oakland Raiders and remained undefeated at 2-0.
4. In Madden land, I am on a roll with something like six consecutive victories against my esteemed elder brother, who should know better than to play video games against me.

If these are collateral consequences, I think the world can live without Lewis & Clark Pioneer football.

Countdown

Early yesterday morning, I had just finished placing a green egg and sausage casserole in the oven--you parents know why--when the A-Train stumbled out of bed and lurched toward the kitchen. It was 5 a.m., but he saw opportunity, and he seized it.

"Want to play a game of Uno?"

Well, of course I did. After several games of Uno and one game of Chutes and Ladders, I sent the A-Train to check the timer on the microwave. He read me the digits: "two ... zero ... four ... eight ... seven ... six ... four ... two ...one ... zero ... nine ... seven ... six ...."

I was laughing, but quietly, so that his mom would not wake up.

After slightly more than a minute, he announced: "I think that's enough, Dad," and he returned. "Shall we play again?"

Law school exam question

I attended a continuing legal education course (CLE) yesterday covering hot topics in employment law. The two hot topics were (1) the Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act (USERRA), which allows folks called to service to get their jobs back when they return, and (2) a recent case holding that Oregon's Medical Marijuna Act prohibits an employer from firing an employee for testing positive for marijuana if the employee has a medical marijuana card.

The reasoning behind the case was that use (as demonstrated by the most common test) does not necessarily mean that the drug is influencing the worker 24-48 hours later. For that, you might need a "nacho test" of some sort.

I wanted to pose a hypothetical a member of the armed forces returning from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder treatable only by marijuana. Might have been amusing, but the answer is simple: He gets to keep his job, unless it is in law enforcement.

Thank you note

The world is kicking in to help the United States recover from Katrina. So far, 50 nations have contributed cash, supplies, and rescue crews and equipment.

It feels strange to be the among the recipients (in a national sense) rather than the donors. But strangely, it also makes me feel like part of the greater earth, if you will, rather than the Lone Ranger we may have been in Iraq.

Thank you, fellow humans, for caring.

So long, little buddy

Gilligan is dead at age 70.

There are three things that spook me about this: (1) Despite the fact that I have not seen "Gilligan's Island" since about 1980, I can still sing the song and hear all of the characters' voices in my head; (2) age and infirmity apparently conquer even folks who have survived on a desert island for four decades; and (3) last time I saw Bob Denver, he looked about 30 years old.

My respects also to Maynard G. Krebs of "Dobie Gillis." Pop culture marches on.

Chief Justice Roberts

Naming John Roberts as nominee for Chief Justice was a good move by President Bush. Bush loses no time, takes page one of the newspaper, and gets his first pick in the court's top job for perhaps 30 years. And all this while Bush is under fire for Katrina mismanagement.

All evidence to the contrary, somebody up there must like the president, and you have to wonder whether it is Rehnquist. On the other hand, I still am not sure why the recently departed Chief did not retire at the end of the term. I guess he was one of those folks who practice law for the sheer joy of it, and he never found a hobby that could compete.

Roberts was a clerk for Rehnquist, and that has me wondering whether I might be in line to run the Oregon Court of Appeals, if my favorite Chief Judge should kick the bucket. Which reminds me: I should call and check on Dave Brewer's health, because that job looks like a whale of a lot of work, and I would much prefer that he be doing it.

Hurricane Katrina

Oregon can be depressing. Sure, it's gorgeous in the summer, with the burst of greenery, the temperatures that are genuinely temperate, the lazy cloud formations swirling above the nearby mountains and hills ....

But on the depressing side, there is the winter and spring, which can seem to be nine months of drizzle interrupted, for variety, by occasional rain. Oregonians have 18 different words for rain, and at least 13 are not printable in a family blog.

But today, I am reminded of another of the reasons, along with summer, to love Oregon. Unlike California, we need not worry seriously about earthquakes. Unlike the entire Midwest, Oregon is not threatened by tornadoes. Unlike the eastern seaboard, our blizzards last maybe 24 hours before melting completely away.

And Oregonians, thank the heavens, never get hit by hurricanes. I hate to hear the word "refugees" applied to anyone, but when it hits close to home--as in "refugees from New Orleans"--it is especially galling.

If you have loved ones in the area, they are in my thoughts. May all survive to fight another day.